have you ever judged yourself? i do it, almost every second of my life. strange ha! i tell you my things. i always see people out there who are self obsessed. they jugde others for them being real, and never ever try to understand different perceptions of life. everyone has got different life and nurture. by different i mean, someone may have got a loving mother, others may have got annoying father. someone may belong to well literate family, someone rich, and others may belong to orthodox family. someone got every support from family and someone might have hated his/her family all life. someone can feel for others, someone can't, someone just hate. there are always reasons behind every thought of a person, and is an outcome of their perception of life. never judge anyone's thought or lifestyle or behaviour, because this kill them from inside.
you know what- i never believed anything strongly in my life and it made me a psychologically ill person, i tell you how? everything that i believed at some point in my life, i believed it for a short period of time, and i always needed other beliefs to replace them, to prove them wrong. for me everything becomes right and evrything becomes wrong.
i had always been worried about how something is right or wrong in this world, which led to confusion and resentment in me all my life. i don't know how it started, but it made my life hell of a kind. i always found myself finding answers to the questions that were never important for me and neither belonged to my life. i ever thought to run away from this silly, unimportant discussions of me with myself, but it never happened. i am very emotional and analytical being, and that also played a part. i know how i show my fake side to people sitting among friends and gesturing like i am listening to them, but rather i am somewhere else judging the ongoing conversation on my own and proving something wrong or right out of it. huhh!
sometimes i feel like i am inside a shell and suddenly i am at the top of the world analysing everything with birds' eye view.
i still find it difficult to make difference in right or wrong in this world, and i am suffering from it every moment. i am in a state of mind where i have loosen up all my confidence, i fear from everything and everyone around me, the people, friends, even family. i have to keep away from people thinking they would judge me, and again i show them my fake sides, that i am perfectly normal. in this whole process i am loosing myself. now i am in a state of guilt, nervousness, low confindence, fear. and slowly i am running away from thinking anything, which again made me slow minded(i think so!).
you know what- i never believed anything strongly in my life and it made me a psychologically ill person, i tell you how? everything that i believed at some point in my life, i believed it for a short period of time, and i always needed other beliefs to replace them, to prove them wrong. for me everything becomes right and evrything becomes wrong.
i had always been worried about how something is right or wrong in this world, which led to confusion and resentment in me all my life. i don't know how it started, but it made my life hell of a kind. i always found myself finding answers to the questions that were never important for me and neither belonged to my life. i ever thought to run away from this silly, unimportant discussions of me with myself, but it never happened. i am very emotional and analytical being, and that also played a part. i know how i show my fake side to people sitting among friends and gesturing like i am listening to them, but rather i am somewhere else judging the ongoing conversation on my own and proving something wrong or right out of it. huhh!
sometimes i feel like i am inside a shell and suddenly i am at the top of the world analysing everything with birds' eye view.
i still find it difficult to make difference in right or wrong in this world, and i am suffering from it every moment. i am in a state of mind where i have loosen up all my confidence, i fear from everything and everyone around me, the people, friends, even family. i have to keep away from people thinking they would judge me, and again i show them my fake sides, that i am perfectly normal. in this whole process i am loosing myself. now i am in a state of guilt, nervousness, low confindence, fear. and slowly i am running away from thinking anything, which again made me slow minded(i think so!).
recently i went to a psychatrist and found myself psychologically ill.
